Camping in the Aussie Rainforest

So tomorrow morning I'll be leaving for our camping phase and won't be back to Townsville until December 5th. This is a picture of the area where we'll be which is about two hours north of us. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

You Are My Beloved.

Last week a longtime YWAM leader, Capt. Jesse, taught us about missions. I honestly didn't know what to expect. These are a few things that stood out to me.

For most of the time Jesse was here he discussed Christianity today in regards of his belief that the Christian worldview has shifted with the world. I have to agree. Within the pressure of having to be politically correct and "tolerant" we as Christians have become passive, as we try to adapt to the world. Today, Christians are seen as conservatives who cling to rusty traditions and to a God that "seems" to have no role in society anymore as the human race becomes more advanced. And we, as Christians, stand for this? As Christians, we are radical thinkers, but are rarely seen that way. Jesses challenged us to not be shy anymore and hid our Christianity for the sake of "not offending" others. What about the martyrs? To them, we owe a responsibility. To our children, we are also responsible, or are they going to blame us for being the "silent generation"? I can only imagine them crying to us shouting, "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?" And most importantly, how much more responsible are we to God? Christians today in America have forgotten that they have a voice – a voice that can promote change.

A few days ago, our current speaker talked about entering the Christian "Bible Belt" when he was younger. This is a term as Southerners we are so used to with churches on every corner and sayings like "bless her heart," etc. In the Southern United States, you are a radical thinker if you are a liberal democrat. Since when did Christians stop becoming radical thinkers? In my head, I imagine the change being a slow process that grew and grew until God and Jesus had the same importance as what Aunt Sue was making for lunch. Actually, lunch was talked with greater importance I'm guessing. Passivity became a way of life, along with the horrible phrase, "If it's not broke, don't fix it." I have never heard a theory that is so false and so passive. God has not quit speaking to us as the Church, and I shiver to think of the day when He doesn't speak to the Church because that is when final judgment is nearer than ever. I shiver to even say those words. God is still speaking. We should never have stopped listening.

However, as C.S. Lewis said in one of his books, "God should never be the means to an end." What then are we even striving for? Therefore, to spread the message of Christ as just "a means of salvation" is grossly wrong. To be a Christian is to have a renewed mind, to believe in the forgiveness of our sin by the death of Jesus, and live according to the grace we have been given. To have salvation is how we live with that truth in our hearts. Eternal life is our reward. Therefore to only focus on "winning souls" is not what the concept of missions is all about. It is about giving people hope in this life as well as in the afterlife, not a solution in order to avoid permanent condemnation. We are not called to "scare" people into salvation. Desperation does occur on earth but a source of hope also exists on earth, which is Christ. He values every one - every person and every creature. We are to communicate and share with people the value they have in God's eyes. We are called to open the door of people's minds in order for God to work, not because He can only work that way (He is more powerful than that.), but because God believes in us. We have simply stopped believing in ourselves. As Christians, we have forgotten the value we have in God's eyes. He doesn't want to do it without us. He truly loves us.

This week, Rob, the director of YWAM Sunshine Coast (AU), has come to talk to us about the "Father Heart of God". Just like every other speaker, Rob definitely has a way of speaking to our emotions and challenging our way of thinking, our comfortable conceptions about God. I have a feeling that in this post and the last I have highlighted God from only one side. Above all, above everything I have said, above everything you might perceive that God thinks about you for your sins and for the world in which we live, above all, He wants to communicate to us that He indeed loves us. He loves us. Completely and utterly loves us. Like I said before, He doesn't want to work without us. He simply doesn't want to exist that way. Just as a husband might say to His wife, "I can't live without you" so is the cry of God's heart. Just a parent says to their child, "I would never go back to life without you" so is the cry of God's heart, as He repeats again and again to us through His word and through the words and actions of Jesus. That, my friends, is the "Father Heart of God". It is ever-consistent and never-changing. It is simply who God is. It is truth.

I want to bring before you a few things you may have heard your whole life that Rob brought before us as a class the other day. He said "Who has heard the saying, 'God loves you'?" Then he asked, "Who really believes it?" He assumed that most of us have an attitude in our hearts that "Yes, God loves us, but that is because He has to" or "God loves my potential but not me". As Rob said quickly to us, "What rubbish! What absolute rubbish!" In both of these statements we put a limit on God's love for us. For God to only love us because He has to or for Him just to love our potential would be a conditional response. He loves us with our so-called junk; He takes us as we are. He loves us with an unconditional love. Over and over again in the Bible, God is the relentless pursuer of Israel, his disciples, the unbelievers, the world. What makes us think He is not still the relentless pursuer today???

Another well-heard saying, and one that I accuse myself of saying, is "God loves us in spite of our faults." This is also a lie. He loves ALL of us – faults and all – and then He redeems us. He takes what was intended for evil, and makes it for good. He takes us as we are, redeems us, and then sees us as pure. What does that mean for us? It means there is no room for guilt anywhere in our lives.

As Rob said, I think the real problem is our definition of love. We can't believe that God loves us because our definition of love is so warped. "I love you" today means "I love how you make me feel". The worst suffering today for people is rejection, in other words, not to have value in another's eyes. If people that we regard as having value, value us, we then feel valued. So therefore, we aren't truly valuing God's love. His love almost seems impossible. It seems so undignified of Him – to send His son to die for us when we will only turn away from Him again and again. We undermine Him and therefore He starts to have a deteriorating value in our minds. We have come to not believe God. We believe He has a double motive when really His only motive is to love us. He has a truly undignified love for us. It really stood out to me when Rob said "Spiritual maturity is when we recognize this incredible gift we have been given by God and are changed by it." God's feelings follow His choice. He chose to love us, He chose to have undignified love for us, and therefore He loves and loves and loves. He truly sees us as valuable. What a statement, what a choice! What a beautiful gift to receive, freely, as He calls to you and me saying, "Come my darling, I've missed you. Please believe me when I say that I don't want to be without you. You are my beloved."

 

You are my beloved. That is the cry of God's heart.

He is crying for us.

“Grace should affect change” – Rob, director of YWAM Sunshine Coast

Today in base worship I was taken through a spiritual journey. One I wasn't sure if I wanted to write about but I am. Worship for me is usually a time of renewal where I can once again fill myself with God's love and worship His glory and goodness in my life. However, worship was different today. It wasn't necessarily a time of rejoicing, but of conviction. I asked God to speak, and He did, although not the way I necessarily wanted him to speak. Once again I was back to my old habits of using God to confirm my existing feelings, leaving no room for Him to fill me with His heart and His feelings. Psalm 50 came to mind and this is what it said:

"But to the wicked, God says: 'What right have you to recite my laws or take my covenant on your lips? You hate my instruction and cast my words behind you. When you see a thief, you join with him; you throw in your lot with adulterers. You use your mouth for evil and harness your tongue to deceit. You speak continually against your brother and slander your own mother's son. These things you have done and I kept silent; you thought I was altogether like you. But I will rebuke you and accuse you to your face."

As you can see, this wasn't quite the morning devotional I was hoping to have, but nonetheless, this is what God presented me. I suddenly felt so sad, and lost, so very lost, like I was on the path of no return. However, even though God may convict us, He never condemns us who are His children, His children He so dearly loves. We are told that time and time again in His word. But we all know that even a parent must discipline. Discipline because they love - such is the discipline of God.

Suddenly, it came to me. "Clear Conscience" week, our third week here of lectures – it was a challenging week to say the least. That week we were able to confess before our peers and before God what laid between God and us – whether it be sin, guilt of a sin, or forgiveness of another. That week we were able to confess before God and before witnesses of our forgiveness that we have found through Him, our forgiveness of others, and most importantly forgiveness of ourselves – and then receive prayer, prayer, and more prayer. Ken said one thing to me at the end of my public confession, "Have you talked to your parents?" At the time, I thought, "Well, no, what does any of this have to do with my parents?" Well, actually a lot. In plain words, I dishonored them under the roof of our home – countless times – and felt at the time that it was between God and me – most times, things rarely are. At the time, I said to myself that I wanted to ask for their forgiveness when I went home because there I could speak to them face-to-face, I thought it so indecent to even consider doing it any other way. I. I. I. Notice I did not really ask God.

But there was my answer today in morning worship. Every day I kept myself from talking to them, I was, in a way, dishonoring them by not asking for their forgiveness. One of our speakers said one time, "Delayed obedience is still disobedience." That is a truth that no one wants to hear.

Everything today kept me from calling them. First of all Skype wasn't working so I couldn't see them "face to face" like I wanted. So I called on the phone, only to get cut off because my credit ran out (here in Aussie you can charge your phone with credit monthly). I went to get credit and walked to a nearby park so it would be quiet, and then it started to rain. But I was determined. It was one of those times that you couldn't imagine living life until you did what needed to be done. So I said it all, there in the rain in the park with ants running over my feet and my voice and body shaking from the words I was uttering before I parents. They were more than loving, more than forgiving, their love is I think as close to God's love as I can imagine here on earth. I felt release, I wanted for them to find release. And at that moment it was found.

“Lord, I would rather be exposed now than be exposed to You later.”

thoughts from my journal.

Prayer for East Timor

Tonight in my outreach meeting we were asked to take time to listen to God in order that we can know His heart and what he yearns to see through our work in East Timor. During this time I got an overwhelming feeling to pray for families. Many parents are not able to provide for their children as they live in extreme poverty. I also ask the Lord to guard the hearts of these children. Their joy is His joy. Please pray for the families and children of East Timor. They need to be shown love. Pray that we will be able to show them the Father heart of God.

Be not deceived, Wormwood, our cause is never more in jeopardy than when a human, no longer desiring but still intending to do our Enemy's (God’s) will, looks round upon a universe in which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys. – C.S. Lewis from The Screwtape Letters

Satan doesn't quit. He is power hungry. The only way Satan has power in this world is through us and our moral decisions. Are the we opening the gate and giving him access to power in our lives? Or are we defending ourselves? I have to admit that for most of my life Satan has felt bigger than me and I feel as if I have no power to stop him. That's where I have been wrong all of my life. If we are in the flesh, which we are, Satan has access. Therefore, spiritual warfare applies to us, every day, and every moment. The moment we become confused, Satan tries to sneak in. However, we are built by God for spiritual warfare, why else do you think He talks about our spiritual armour? Spiritual warfare is "learning to recognize the strategies of the enemy, refusing to cooperate with them, and cutting them off in Jesus' name". And from this last week's lectures it is simpler than you think, but it's also one of the hardest things to discern. That is our battle, it is not against each other in flesh and blood, but against the strategies against the evil one.

In the past I have had many deceptions about spiritual warfare. I told one of the friends here that I feel like sometimes I talk to Satan more than I talk to God. I tell him to leave me alone and such. However, isn't this just what Satan desires? You can acknowledge that Satan is tempting you, but then turn to God. Don't even choose to communicate with Satan but praise God instead. Replace the lies for the truth. Don't let him steal your day. Instead fight every day and most of all, don't blame God for what Satan is doing. I think Christians and especially non-Christians fall into this trap all the time. We ask God, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Does God have the power for good things to happen? Well yes, He could if He wanted to. However, He chose to give man something in the Garden of Eden, and that was personal choice. When somebody gives you something, it is no longer theirs. Personal moral choice was given to us by God and we abused it. Just as we do today, Adam and Eve went through spiritual warfare. Eve and Adam chose and made a decision to give into it. They didn't have to by any means. But they let Satan have access, and didn't defend themselves. Through this, Satan had authority in man through sin. God had to get it back, and the only way God could do that was to destroy Satan's access point in the world, by defeating sin.

And then God, in his loving kindness, sent His son to earth and defeated Satan. Christ was tempted beyond measure, beyond comparison, but He denied Satan access. He defeated Satan's authority through sin and took the authority back. Satan was then ultimately defeated. Therefore, as God's children, we have been given authority through His Holy Spirit. We have authority over Satan. But do we live like it?

Most times, I have not. And what has it led to? Open gates. And the consequence? Satan gains access by my sin. Satan then strengthens and fortifies your sinful habits to bondage. And the only way you can break that bondage is with repentance and faith.

I have also made another mistake throughout my life. In a way, I have had pride about the spiritual warfare I have personally experienced. I think, "Satan must think I'm so powerful that he has to tempt me. I am such a threat to him." Part of that is true but also part of that is wrong. Satan doesn't see us as valuable whatsoever. He could care less about us. We are dirt to him. His battle is against God and he will do everything he can to get back at God until his final destruction and condemnation in Hell. We are only his instruments. Most people, including myself, can be in greater attack because of pride that you are a "special target".

In the long run God want to give us so-called "spiritual muscle". How can you learn to fight if you never fight? God wants you to fight back and not back off. However, don't think Satan will give up so soon. Throughout time, he has found out that people quit and back off. Therefore, I say it again, don't.back.off.

As a Christian, if you aren't convinced of your authority through Christ, you should be. Our authority is an actual legal reality and it is a state of being. And Satan is a legal expert so to say. He knows the perimeters of Christ's authority. The thing he wants us to be most confused about is the ultimate power of our authority. You have to convince Satan that you're convinced of your authority. Therefore, we must yield to Christ daily and take captive every thought. The more you yield your channel of power from God gets wider and wider. This power can also be increased by people, time and yielding. People to pray and intercede for you. Time meaning perseverance in prayer. Yielding by fervent prayer and worship.

We have the authority and the victory against Satan. God designed us to fight. And most importantly, He provides us with the strength to do so. What a gift. Praise GOD!

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." 1 Peter 5:8,9

"And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he (Jesus) made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross." Colossians 2:15

I really encourage all of you to read Dean Sherman's book Spiritual Warfare. All this information I received and learned from his lectures.

Thank you for all your e-mails. I sincerely hope the things I am learning will benefit you as much as it has benefited me. I miss you all so very much!

"God has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, most inexorable sense." – The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis

For a long time now I have known that I don't have my personal identity completely worked out. For a long time, even as a Christian, I have been looking to things of this world, whether it is things or people to give me confidence. One of the big questions our speaker Joanne asked us this last week was, "Are you free?" This last week's lectures focused on our identity, mainly our identity in Christ and what that means. It was both a wonderful and hard week, much like every week here.

A huge part of knowing who we are is finding out God's identity. God has already set us free, but do we act like it? Most times I admit that I don't. Most times I feel trapped by sin and the world. Most times I tell myself lies about myself and the world that completely contradict the character of God. Therefore, when I do this, am I calling God a liar? It's a humbling answer, but yes. After all, most times God whispers and the world screams. To have a relationship with God is the same as having a relationship with anyone else, you have to spend time with them, and listen to them. Most times, I don't think I give God the chance to talk. I want to hear His voice now and I want it to be tangible. Everything of the world is now and tangible, and therefore it is a temporary solution, yes, temporary. When I say this, I feel as if I'm talking common sense but it always becomes a habitual sin for us, Christian or non-Christian. As Christians, we have been given the solution, and freely. Then again I ask the question, are we living that way?

Our speaker Joanne gave us a very well-known quote from Nelson Mandela. It says,

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so? You are a child of God, small games do not work in this world. For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to express the glory of god that lives in us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others."

Imagine if we all stepped into our true identities given to us as child of God. As Mandela says, our presence could liberate others. It was not enough for just one person to stand up in the Civil Rights Movement, many were moved by others' initiative to stand up. What if that one person wouldn't have stood up? Therefore, as Christians, it is time to stop listening to the lies of Satan about our lives. As is shown in the Bible, Satan will do all he can to corrupt the character of God, and will try to corrupt our lives with lies about ourselves that simply aren't true seeing as we are God's children. For example, saying "I am not worth it" or "I will never be loved for who I am". Both of those are complete lies because God says we ARE worth it and we ARE loved time and time again, but how often do we say those to ourselves? To say these continual lies to ourselves is calling God a liar, and that is exactly what Satan did in the story of creation. How deceived are we? And yet we have the power to rebuke Satan as promised by God. The power has been provided and most importantly, the truth has been provided.

It is time to stand up for ourselves and look at ourselves through God's eyes. We already have the victory.

And WOW, I almost forgot, our leaders told us our outreach locations for January and February! I will be going with a group of 12 students to Darwin, Australia, and the country of East Timor. In Darwin, we will mostly be working with the youth of aboriginal communities. In East Timor, we will be working with those in extreme poverty. I definitely have felt led to these outreach locations and I am confident that God will be glorified in these places through YWAM. Everyone is really excited.

I miss you all and wish you a happy November! Drink lots of pumpkin lattes for me.